My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
