That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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