i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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