Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
