You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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