but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
