You made me cry and you don't even care
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
