this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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