i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
