What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
