Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i will never coherently bang her
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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