I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
