what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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