so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
