i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have demons in me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Randomize
