Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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