ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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