What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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