Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
