She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
