he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
