Just cropdusted the office
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
