1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
