I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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