I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
