whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
false alarm. still invincible.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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