Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize