I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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