Its about making memories worth repressing
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
