i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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