Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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