All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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