you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
