im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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