I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
