McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize