do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
