That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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