Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
