Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize