you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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