i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
