honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
