I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
