I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
