Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i've created a new STD.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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