ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
