her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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