you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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