Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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