Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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