Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
