Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
