The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
