i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
they need to just BURY HIM!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
