The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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