bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize