it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize