i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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