And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I've blown a few things in my day
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
